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“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

~ Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

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Dear readers,

For the last three and a half months, ever since my arrival home from a shortened visit to Russia, I have been on a journey of a different kind, one that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. While in Russia, the family emergency I left early for was my husband’s preliminary diagnosis of metastatic liver disease – i.e. liver cancer that is not the “primary” cancer source.

From the moment I arrived home in late May, I focused on ways to help my husband of 30 years find the care he needed. Unfortunately, without the earlier symptoms to warn us (he was not a smoker… ever), his disease had already progressed before final diagnosis in early June. He waged a brave battle, attempting chemo but making it through less than 3 full rounds before his body could no longer bear the torture of that kind of treatment. Even eating became a chore since the cancer had already spread to his stomach and spine, with the primary suspect to be in the lungs and pancreatic biliary system. To watch a loved one die is to have the ultimate feeling of helplessness and yes, even failure, because we were partners, always helping each other out, caring for each other during those challenging times.

But this was one that I couldn’t save him from. The fates, God, spiritual being that guides us on our path, whomever you follow, had something else in mind. And so my husband, who made it to our 30th anniversary, just after his 54th birthday, passed away on September 1, 2012, at home with his daughters and me nearby. We were relieved that he no longer suffered, that he was at peace now, going onward to continue creating and building and making art – all the things he did in this life – now in the next. But we also grieved, as we had all summer, knowing what was to come. We grieved for the loss of a husband and best friend. We grieved for a loving father, talented artist, a generous man and natural teacher. We grieved for ourselves. And we will continue to do so, while we also continue to hold him in our hearts and souls, a part of him that will never die.

So, while my visit to Russia was cut short, life gives us many different journeys to travel on. It will take time. But I know that I will continue to travel, bringing you, and my husband and my family along with me… even if it is not always in person, but in spirit. And I will continue to share that journey, too. Because when the stories are shared, they live on, connect us to each other, helping each other along the way. And they help me, too… Because there is a lot of healing to do…

Thank you, Spasibo, Vinaka vakalevu, Muchas Gracias…

– Mara
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PS: Included above is a quote that a friend shared and which connected to me immediately.

PSS: If you are interested in seeing the talent and creativity my late husband had, his website will remain online at www.fulmerwoodworking.com. In addition, a scholarship has been created in his name: Keith E. Fulmer Memorial Art & Design Scholarship, c/o Foundation for Mott Community College, 1401 E. Court St., Flint, MI 48503. Contributions can be made payable to the Foundation for MCC, with note in memo “Keith Fulmer Scholarship”. Our hope is to nurture young passionate artists/designers who exhibit the same desire to incorporate beauty and craftsmanship into both form and function. That is the legacy through which we will continue Keith’s life’s work. With love, mjf

Monday and Wednesday are holidays this week and the breakfast buffet was closed which meant going to another dining room next door and attempting to order some food. I’ve learned some easy words so far. Kofe is coffee and che is tea. But after that I resort to pointing at the item on the very limited menu which is only a tent sign about 4 inches high sitting on the table which has a few items in English on one side, and the same in Russian on the other. So I point to eggs and, learning from yesterday’s experience, I also point to tomatoes, cheese, and ham, knowing they’ll make this into a sort of omelet. I say sort of because the eggs are just over easy, rather than scrambled. And then the other ingredients are under and over the eggs.

A plate arrives with two rolls, no butter. I decide I don’t need it anyway. The eggs will have enough of that. Coffee arrives… More of an espresso, and I’ve become used to using two sugar cubes from the covered bowl with tongs on the lid, and two creams. It is very strong, but there is a nice reward as one reaches the bottom of the cup and the last sugars not previously dissolved provide a sweetened coffee syrup for the last gulp.

My eggs and juice arrive… No fresh fruit this morning. But this is a filling breakfast and I don’t plan to have lunch today. I’ve done this a few days now since breakfast comes with the room and it is generally very good.

As I make my way through my meal, I read from my iPad a few more lessons in Russian. Although I’m beginning to see patterns, my ability to recall the right words in a speedy fashion is nil. So I resort to Please (pazhalusta) and thank ou (Spasibo) a lot. Manners do matter!

To my surprise, my very attentive waitress arrives with a cup of fruit and yogurt, and another plate with two little honey cakes and something that looks like a small piece of tiramisu. OMG how shall I eat all this?

So… Asking for another cup of kofe, pahzalusta, I try out the yogurt. Good. But a little “grainy”… The best word I can use to describe it. Next, with a bigger cup of kofe arriving, Amerikanska style, I try one of the tiny honey cake muffins. Good… And strangely more satisfying towards the end of the bite… as if the sweetness expands in your mouth. I can eat no more.

All the while, the attentive waitress comes by on occasion to clear an empty plate or, as an aside I found amusing, grabbing a well used paper napkin. Each restaurant I’ve been to has a very purposeful display of folded small single-layer paper napkins. Sometimes, if not just plain white, colors are alternated as the paper napkins folded in triangles are tipped alternately, as well, creating a sort of fan design.

Looking at the little cake, I begin to think “boy that little tiramisu might be nice tonight with a cup of tea.” Checking to see that I was alone in the dining room, I used one of the napkins to lightly wrap the little cake, and then head back to my room to put it in my little fridge for later.

My sleep patterns have been so erratic that I find myself too tired to get up and head out for dinner at a “normal” hour. Yesterday I smartened up a little and, while at lunch at a very fine restaurant known for its pyroghi (stuffed pies), I ordered a slice of a savory pie to go. Based on the recommendation of my host, I tried one filled with sautéed cabbage. I enjoyed it later last night, but couldn’t finish it for it was almost too rich because of all the butter used. Heating it up wasn’t hard. I use the electric kettle loaned to me by my host and steam the food after the water has boiled and the kettle shut off.

Packaging was special, too, as my pie came wrapped and tied with brown ribbon. The dough was also very decorative making a lovely sculptural design on top.

Because the password for my Internet is constantly changing – and a separate login is needed for my iPhone and iPad – I had to visit the front desk of the hotel last night at 9 pm to pick up new logins. So I decided to check what was at the bar. Empty- it was Sunday night after all – I asked for “room service” to take a bottle of sparkling water back to my room. Some homemade chocolates enticed me so I asked for some of those too, and they were carefully put on a plate for me to take back to my room. I took the requisite paper napkins since my room has only the min. number of towels.

Today, I don’t head out til 2 pm and will visit a monastery. More on that later.

But just as an aside, the daylight has been rapidly expanding here. Sunrise is generally now around 5:50 am and getting a little earlier each day. Sunset is now closer to 10 pm… and it’s only May! No wonder I’m having some trouble getting on the right time zone!

Da svedanya for now!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/50899572@N00/7151417031

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Old building in EkaterinburgChevy AveoSoviet era manufacturing logoView of main city business centerView of rowers on Iset RiverMisc. Graffiti
Street Art BridgeStreet ArtBicyclistsGraffiti artStreet ArtStreet art alley
Street artOld brick buildingOld brick buildingStreet artConstructivist buildingStreet art
Street artStreet art19th C. Ol building19th C. old Brick BuildingBrick entry gateSymbols for "Holiday" provider

More photos from around the city, this group has special attention to street art. Much of it is done with permission, while other pieces are not. The tags are not appreciated. But conceptual works are especially admired. My tour was arranged with my hosts and two students who work as volunteers for a guerilla marketing firm.

One street artist, Tima Radya, does especially planned and admired work, his philosophy studies providing a strong conceptual mindset. The old WWII era hospital was a project that utilized bandages and selective burning of the wood panel surface to create portraits of soldiers from the period. Although he did not have permission to install the work, once he explained its meaning to the caretaker, they allowed it to remain.

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To see all 100+ photos, just click on one of the thumbnails above to take you to the Flickr set.

Me in my travel hatSouvenir from Museum of Fine ArtsObama PiePress from old Ironworks FoundryReconstruction on the banks of the riverIset River
Iset RiverMe at the dam on the Iset RiverDance lessons at the Academic TheatreEntry to DumaDuma in prep for Victory Day
Duma in prep for Victory DayCity Center featuring me and LeninLenin and Duma (building to right)Lenin in prep for Victory DayLast remnantsOld Ekaterinburg style
Old Ekaterinburg Style"Boat House""Boat House""Boat House"Painting of Lenin and FriendsSign for Dance Lessons

Ekaterinburg Russia, a set on Flickr.

Some photos from Russia…. More added every day.

The next big hurdle overcome with a hologram-graced visa installed in my passport.

Well, the next big hurdle has been overcome. My Russian visa has been granted and my passport has been returned to me from the visa service with a lovely hologram-graced official looking visa embedded within my passport. Next is to finally break down and buy my airline ticket. At a pricetag of around $1600-1700, I’ve been reluctant to pay for it without having this visa in hand. No excuses anymore… except for not having that much money to spare.

So, on to the next challenge… digging up some empty space on a credit card so I can buy the airline ticket!

And, of course, addressing all of the other to-do’s that have little to do with my travel to Russia for this Fulbright, but that must be addressed before I leave so I that I don’t leave a mess behind for the 3+ weeks that I am gone.

Just the short list:

  • Keep up with grading my student’s work so that I can get their grades submitted on time and with something meaningful behind them!
  • Prepare some final reports for several grants and/or awards.
  • Design and arrange printing for invitations for a non-profit’s fundraising event that occurs in June.
  • Keep up with my Doctoral program coursework that has weekly homework, readings, and discussions. The final assignment for my Qualitative Research course will be due after I’m in Russia. So, needless to say, it will be finished BEFORE I leave!
  • Design and print recruitment poster for summer course on Conceptual Book Design.
  • Continue my research on Yekaterinburg and region so that I may be somewhat prepared – including learning a few more words in Russian!
  • Finish Syllabus and Course Outline/presentation for Yekaterinburg course in Russia.
  • Attend and celebrate my younger daughter’s BFA thesis exhibition and graduation from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor! (I really wish I could have brought one of my girls with me to Russia. But the cost and time were too much of a hardship for all involved.)
  • Oh yea… start packing!

Phew!

guess I better get some sleep tonight!

mjf

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