Mara Jevera Fulmer's Blog

Rediscovering the Magic of Portals

I remember the first time I came to the realization that my excitement about “possibilities” had overpowered the young college student sitting in front of me. I could see their face and the look of distress and fear in their eyes. I was smiling, sure. And I thought that would be enough to express that my intentions were sincere and meant to be positive. But the energy that radiated from me was too much. The aura was too great, emitting from me like a large glowing globe. I realized that I had to reign it back inside or I would lose them completely.

Transported through stories

When I was a child, I would devour my books, kept orderly by author on my bookshelf. Much of it was science fiction, the classics from Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, Arthur C. Clark, the abc’s of scientific and human explorations of my childhood. I still carry inside me the stories from The Martian Chronicles, the last one whose story ended with the reflection beside the river bed of a family looking back and discovering the real identity of the Martians they were seeking. 

I remember the power and spiritual awe I felt when the stars began to blink out in the evening sky when technology was meshed with ancient wisdoms of Tibetan monks, when the last of the Nine Billion Names of God was finally deciphered.

And I remember most dearly the power that women could hold in the retelling of the King Arthur legends when Marion Zimmer Bradley chose to put women at the center in the Mists of Avalon.

It was there where I truly connected with the potential portals offered by the mists that often delighted me in childhood.They still make my heart dance with excitement as they pull me to the edge of the earthly plain even now. Late night drives through thick fogs would completely envelope my car, reflecting my headlights back if I failed to turn them down. Only then, in the dark, could I find my way through to my destination. 

The vaporous magic of air and water

Then there were the early mornings when I would awake to a see the mystical clouds through my treehouse bedroom view, blurring the trees to soft green silhouettes as if wrapped by the glowing heavens fallen to Earth. 

I began to recognize the magic of the hoar frost on the cold snaps of a crisp fall morning, as the crystals emerged outward in the dawn light. The sun rays meeting frosty air would deposit this magic across the farmers fields, wrapping trees and tall grasses creating a sparkling bejeweled view to accompany my early morning travels. 

I knew there was power and potential there for real magic to happen in moments like these. And I understood for certain that in these realms there was beauty to be created, mysteries to uncover, and power to be harnessed, if only we would allow ourselves to be open to its gifts.

Aging into possibilities

As I have grown older, I have come to fully embrace the mysteries of these liminal spaces, these places between worlds, as my portals for intense discovery, both human and spiritual. It was at the water’s edge as a child when I first realized that beneath the glassy surface reflecting my face back to me, I could reach down and, under the muddy banks, discover the crawfish hiding there… oh so many to be had! 

The water and its vaporous cousins has become that place of poetry for me, an opening to another plane. Such as the pre-dawn light on the edge of the water in Fiji as I sat there on a patch of grass under the stars. The weighty blanket of stars was holding fast while the dawn light shifted the colors on the horizon. The birds just began their singing in the tropical trees that met the sand, accompanied by the lapping of the waves with the slow build of the morning’s orchestral melodies. 

My other portals also depend upon these mystical elements of the atmosphere. A bridge of light extends from the full moon to my feet. The nighttime faeries flicker and twinkle in my path as I wander in the dark. I know well that bridge of spirit connections that these bring me. The hearts of those I’ve loved travel up and down that path leaving their mark on my soul, an all-encompassing spiritual embrace.

I’m older now, and the moonlight gets caught in the silver highlights of my greying hair. So I draw upon that magic now, growing into the expanding aura of an old crone. Tonight, on the latest full moon, I step across its path in the middle of the night and head into my studio, still wearing my nightgown. 

From the outside, the shop lights splinter through the night from its many windows. The decades of this journey have led me to this time when I can fully commit to this creative portal. Its siren call pulls me in to explore the magic that can be created inside. And while I do, a curtain of grapevines partially obscures the view of any who wish to peek into my chamber of creativity as I work through my late night conjurings. 

Woe to any who seek to enter there, for the aura I carry will not be dimmed here for their comfort.